Good or Bad

During study week, I have to juggle my time management on studies and work at the same time. Full of pressure and very challenging. It was tough. Semester break coming to nearly a month now and I thought I would be rather less stress than study week.

Boy, I was wrong!!

As a matter of fact, things don’t change at all. Stress level either maintains or goes up.

Serving under the 2010-2011 CRC teams, I am honored to be appointing as the team leader for a treasure hunt activity. This event also going to be the last event we organized before an official handover is made to the new CRC team. I’ve no experience in organizing such event but I’m lucky to have something to start with based on previous year’s activity. I called up for a brainstorming session and I’m glad that the session came out with a draft framework. I just need to focus on how to ‘polish’ it and making it into an interesting, informative and fun treasure hunt activity.

I really want this event to be successful.

Recently, I embarked into a new platform in my career. I took the first step of becoming a trainer. After the brainstorming session, I proceed to attend the Trainer Workshop conducted by one of our reputable trainer. I’m glad to know that I shared the same vision and goal of becoming a good trainer with the organizer. Before this, I’ve set my mind to be rebellious, giving them a hard time as I’ve seen how poor the training module were executed by previous batch of trainers and I don’t want to end up like them. In the end, I was proven wrong yet now I am so eager to give my contribution in the next meeting in designing a new module of training for the next team power training.

I can’t wait. 🙂

So, I sat down and start to do a self reflection. Why am I feeling stressful? Am I overwhelmed with workload? Is it OK to set high expectation? I then find out the root to my own problem; which is I myself.

I don’t know whether the amount level of curiosity that I have is seen normal by others but I realized it has lead me to be an adventurous person in exploring something old or new. Once I found the answers to those curiosities, I hunger for more. Slowly, it became an addiction; an addiction that has turned me into a competitive person. Being competitive, you have vision, goal and see differently than others as such you will grow as a better person than others. When you feel better, you always contribute to the best capability and will have positive result.

Do you agree with that?
Do you think this is good or bad?


  1. Philip

    24 June, 2011 at 5:33 am

    You seem to be internally driven rather than externally motivated. That is your motivation (and curiosity) comes from within rather than primarily from seeking material rewards (although that is nice to have too). If this is channelled into seeking goals you set for yourself I think this is a good thing. (It also keeps you young!)

    1. ladybirdmollyz

      24 June, 2011 at 11:08 am

      all this while i thought its abnormal of me for behaving such way (internally driven). perhaps that is due to the negative surroundings or merely my low self esteem. until yesterday during the trainer workshop, my trainer shared that it is the skills that matter in order to be a good trainer. it is not about expecting monetary reward in return in order to embark in something that you have passion & interest. reward will comes later and sometime unexpectedly.

      boyy i was relieved hearing that and from that moment i knew i was doing the right thing all this while. i thank you for your advise as it does really motivate me. now, i know there’s a shoulder to lean on should i need one.

      have a nice day, Philip 🙂

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